The Chancellor’s Burner

When Snowden’s documents revealed that the NSA had been tapping Angela Merkel’s personal phone for years, Germany did what Germany does: expressed formal outrage, demanded explanations through proper diplomatic channels, and ultimately did nothing that would meaningfully complicate the transatlantic relationship. The whole episode had the texture of discovering your landlord has been reading your mail—you’re furious, you know you can’t really move out, and you end up just being more careful about what you write down. Merkel got a new encrypted phone. The surveillance presumably continued in other forms. The internet memes were funnier than the official response, and more honest about the power dynamic.