Kate Upton and the Annual Sports Illustrated Argument for Living

Every year Sports Illustrated drops its swimsuit issue and every year I remember why I have eyes. Kate Upton is twenty-one in this one, shot somewhere warm and impossibly blue and so far from a grey March morning that it physically hurts to look at. There is no one alive who wouldn’t want to put their hands on Kate Upton at least a little, and if you say otherwise you’re lying. Sun, ocean, that smile, the whole unreasonable sum of her. Emily Ratajkowski had her beach moment two weeks before this and that one hurt too. Good couple of weeks for this particular kind of beautiful distraction.