The Exception

Garter belts have always struck me as a bit sad—the official lingerie of trying too hard, something that exists less as clothing than as a signal. They read anxious. They read like something chosen entirely for someone else’s benefit rather than worn because it actually feels good. There’s a faint whiff of performance about the whole aesthetic, and not the fun kind.

And then Kate Upton puts them on for a shoot called "Blonde Beauty" in The Men Magazine and I forget everything I just said. This is the Kate Upton effect: she makes you revise your positions in real time, cheerfully, without apology. The shoot is exactly what it advertises—blonde, beautiful, a kind of uncomplicated physical presence that doesn’t need to layer irony on top. She can blow soap bubbles. She can eat candy. She can apparently wear a garter belt without it reading as anything other than what it is on her, which is fine. Better than fine. Everything is fine.