The Kuro Burger Commits to the Bit

Goths don’t have it easy. Mocked by the polo-shirt contingent throughout school, avoided by elderly people at bus stops—and at some point your dad has to paint the house black to stop you going full emo, which holds until the local council sends someone around.

At least in Japan, the darkness is catered for. Burger King unveiled the kuro burger—a fully black cheeseburger with a black bun, black cheese, and black meat, which sounds less like something cooked and more like something summoned. Bun and cheese get their color from bamboo charcoal and squid ink; beef, onions, and garlic sauce complete the picture, depending which edition you order. About five euros a unit.

Japan has a long tradition of taking Western fast food and doing something genuinely strange with it—seasonal sakura McFlurries, green tea Kit Kats, the annual Halloween black-ketchup McDonald’s nightmare. The kuro burger feels like the logical end point of that impulse: novelty food that stops hedging and commits fully to the bit. I have no idea if it tastes like anything, but I appreciate the confidence of a burger that looks like it belongs in a funeral procession.