The Villain Leaderboard

Every era needs its monsters. Right now the Islamic State is running the chart—number one with a bullet, al-Qaeda slipping after a few inconsistent years, and we’ve practically forgiven Bashar al-Assad already, which would have seemed genuinely insane three years ago. Funny how the rankings adjust.

The logic isn’t moral, it’s operational. You need enemies that photograph well and generate reliable content. Putin annexing territory: good television. Boko Haram executing people: devastating and photogenic. Kim Jong-un threatening everyone with nuclear theater: a dependable quarterly event. These are the acts that make the news cycle comfortable. They give us a clean line—we are the good guys. Certainty is the one thing nobody wants to give up.

Saudi Arabia executes people for witchcraft. Doesn’t make the villain leaderboard. Turns out the rankings have quite a lot to do with oil contracts, arms deals, and geopolitical convenience—which shouldn’t surprise anyone but somehow keeps surprising everyone. The chart’s a chart. It’ll update again next quarter.