I Love Mean Girls and I Will Not Apologize

Let me just say it plainly: I love Mean Girls. Not ironically, not as a guilty pleasure requiring a disclaimer—genuinely, straightforwardly. Tina Fey’s script is sharper than Clueless, funnier than anything it inspired, and the jokes are still doing structural things people half-describe as "iconic" without being able to explain why. It’s because they’re actually written. That’s the whole secret.

Someone made a mobile game out of it. Mean Girls: The Game is technically broken in ways that feel deliberate, styled like one of those early 2000s Big Brother tie-in PC releases that existed for three weeks before vanishing from existence. It looks terrible. It probably plays terrible. I’m going to play it anyway—while watching the actual film on loop, eating ice cream directly from the tub, letting my social life quietly decompose around me. Zero regrets, pre-loaded.