What She Actually Does With That Photo You Sent

Some guys—late at night, apparently operating on a theory of physics where confidence alone generates attraction—send an unsolicited dick pic and genuinely expect something back other than silence or derision. The logic presumably being: it works in reverse, doesn’t it? An unexpected image arrives, desire follows automatically. Maybe she’s so overwhelmed she can barely type back.

The gap between what a man imagines he’s sending—a steel girder of masculine authority, basically a war declaration—and what actually lands in someone’s message thread is vast and completely unbridgeable. What reads as a monument in the sender’s head reads as a punchline on arrival. They’re not thinking what you think they’re thinking. They’re screenshotting it and forwarding it to a group chat, and everyone is crying laughing. Not with you. Emphatically not with you.

There’s a video documenting real-time female reactions to unsolicited dick pics from strangers, and the reactions are—educational. Maybe keep your weird friend in his pants next time you’re alone and feeling ambitious. Unless his presence has been explicitly requested, in which case: fair enough, carry on.