Marcel Winatschek

Everybody Laughed About the White Bed

Everybody laughed about the white bed. All-white frame, all-white linen, all-white duvet—the kind of setup that reads like a hotel room or a magazine shoot or a very deliberate person who has spent too long thinking about interior design. Fine. Laugh.

The new issue of V Magazine, titled "The Best of the Best," features Kate Upton, Miranda Kerr, Candice Swanepoel, and Amber Valletta half-naked in exactly that kind of bed. White on white, shot by Sebastian Faena, and looking precisely as good as you’d expect from that combination of subjects and photographer.

The whole shoot has this clean, overexposed quality—like the light source is the sheets themselves—and Faena is skilled enough to make something technically restrained feel genuinely erotic rather than merely antiseptic. Kate Upton in that environment doesn’t need much from her surroundings. The white just gets out of the way and lets her do the thing.

I’m going to print her shot and tell anyone who asks that it was taken in my apartment. Technically unprovable. Who’s going to check.