Marcel Winatschek

What Kate Upton Said About Tiny Bikinis (I Have No Idea)

Sports Illustrated produced a video where Kate Upton discusses two subjects: how the magazine turned her into a star, and why she really likes small bikinis. The first part comes with red carpet footage. The second comes with background music.

I should be able to tell you what she said about the bikinis. I genuinely cannot. The music was too good, or there was too much else happening visually, or both—I lost the thread of the argument entirely and have zero regrets about that.

She’s also an actress now, apparently, which is just showing off. Miley, Selena, Kate—these three women live in my head rent-free and I’ve made peace with it. Kate laughs like she means it and moves like she knows exactly what she’s doing, and that’s enough to make even a promotional magazine video worth watching. Especially if you retain nothing from it.