The Right to Bear Dildos

This actually happened. Hundreds of students at the University of Texas in Austin strapped on oversized dildos and marched across campus to protest the state’s campus carry law, which permits licensed gun owners over 21 to carry concealed handguns at public universities. The protest had a name: Cocks Not Glocks.

The logic was counter-absurdity, and it was airtight. Texas law prohibits the open display of dildos in public while permitting concealed firearms—which is exactly the kind of distinction that makes you want to lie down in a dark room and not get up. History student Rosie Zander explained the approach without apology: We have plenty of crazy gun laws, but this one takes the cake. We’re trying to fight absurdity with absurdity. It’s not always easy to get young people engaged in politics—so we strap on dildos and shout: Cocks Not Glocks.

Organizer Jessica Jin was more pointed: Put a dildo in the hand of every pissed-off student. Strap it on, feel the weird feeling, feel the weird looks. Carry them loud, carry them proud, and don’t put them down until people leave their guns at home.

There’s something genuinely clarifying about a protest that makes the absurdity of a law visible through an equally absurd act. The gun stays hidden, by design. The dildo doesn’t. That’s the whole argument, made with rubber and a good sense of humor about the culture that requires it.