The Girlfriend, on Subscription

Somewhere between loneliness and laziness lives the dream of a companion who never gets bored of you, never accuses you of anything, and will show you what you want on demand. AliceX has decided this dream deserves a product.

The pitch is simple: virtual reality companions who talk to you, tell you you’re great, show you their bodies. When they start to grate on you, switch them off. Or switch to a different one. Sophy, Miryam, Ema—a whole menu of digital women who exist entirely to validate you, available until you’re done with them.

There’s something almost clarifying about that transaction. Real relationships come wrapped in so much theater—the mutual performance of giving a shit about each other’s days, the negotiated resentments, the specific misery of sitting in the same room as someone who’s decided to be disappointed in you but hasn’t said so yet. AliceX strips all of that away. What remains is the dopamine hit, served clean, no maintenance required.

What they actually love is your subscription fee. Which is at least an honest arrangement. The greatest men in history kept themselves warm through deals considerably less dignified than this, and none of them seemed especially troubled by the math. So maybe the only genuine problem here is the VR headset hair.