Chrissy Teigen Is Better at Everything Than You

The looks are almost the least of it. Not that they’re irrelevant—she’s doing a Sports Illustrated shoot in the Maldives in a bikini, which is its own argument—but plenty of people look good, and almost none of them are as relentlessly, genuinely funny as Chrissy Teigen is. Not cocktail-party funny. Not "she’s got a great personality" funny. Actually, properly funny, in a way that requires intelligence and timing and a complete lack of vanity.

Her Twitter feed is a minor masterpiece of the form. Every troll who wanders in thinking they’ve found an easy target walks out in pieces, publicly, for everyone to watch. She doesn’t get flustered. She doesn’t take the bait in the way trolls want you to. She just dismantles them with the precision of someone who has thought about the subject longer than they have, and then moves on without looking back. It’s the opposite of what you usually see from celebrities on social media, which tends to be either performed outrage or total silence.

So: beautiful, funny, opinions on everything, takes no shit. And now she’s lying on a beach in the Maldives while I’m scraping frost off my windshield at seven in the morning. The universe isn’t fair, and anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something. At least she makes the unfairness easy to admire.