Dead Weight

There’s this moment when you realize someone’s been using you. Not suspecting it, not worrying about it – actually seeing it. When their attention suddenly clicks into place and you understand that what they wanted was never you. It’s usually small. A comment that reveals what they actually think. The way they treat you when there’s nothing in it for them. Their eyes when you tell them you can’t help with whatever they actually came for.

Selena Gomez made a video about cutting off her fake friends, and yeah, I get why that resonates. Fame and money and visibility are just concentrated versions of what happens at every level. You get something people want – money, connection, status, even just the ability to listen and care – and suddenly you’ve got orbit. Parasites. People who smell something on you and move in close.

The ugliest part is how they operate. They’re not crude about it. They’re good at it. They show up when things are good. They remember your birthday. They make you feel like you matter to them. Then something shifts – maybe you can’t do them a favor, maybe you just stop being useful – and you see exactly how little you meant. They disappear or get cold or worse, they stick around and resent you for not serving your purpose.

I’ve done this wrong before. Let someone stay in my life out of obligation or guilt or the vague hope that I was reading them wrong. You’re not reading them wrong. You see it clearly. The hard part isn’t seeing it – it’s actually letting them go. It feels mean. It feels like you’re being cruel to someone who tried. But they didn’t try for you. They tried for what they thought you had.

The decent ones – the ones worth keeping – they want nothing. Or they want something real. They don’t change when your usefulness runs out. You know who they are because they don’t need anything from you to show up. That’s the bar. That’s it.

I used to think cutting people off was something you did in rage, some dramatic finale. Now I think it’s quieter. You just stop. Stop explaining yourself. Stop leaving the door open. Stop hoping they’ll surprise you. They won’t. And then one day you realize you haven’t thought about them in months.