The App Nobody Built but Everyone Needs

Going down on someone well is a genuine skill, and almost nobody is taught it, and almost everybody pretends to have mastered it. The feedback mechanism is terrible—you’re working without clear signals, your technique feels fine from where you’re sitting, and whoever you’re with is either too generous or too tired to tell you you’ve been doing it wrong for years. The result is a lot of confident incompetence and a lot of politely suppressed disappointment.

So when a video surfaced for something called Lickster—a self-described "Cunnilingus Training App"—my first reaction was genuine interest, followed almost immediately by the suspicion that no one would actually build this. The concept is straightforward: an interactive tutorial covering technique, rhythm, pressure, timing. The kind of thing that should obviously exist and somehow doesn’t. Sex ed doesn’t cover it. Porn teaches the opposite of everything useful. There’s a real gap here, and most people are falling into it, enthusiastically, without realizing.

And yes, it’s a fake. Lickster turned out to be a bit from a comedy YouTube channel—a well-produced mock ad, convincing for about thirty seconds before the joke lands. Funny enough. But the gag only works if the premise is obviously absurd, and I’m genuinely not convinced it is. There’s an entire industry built around teaching adults to do things they’re embarrassed to admit they can’t do. Someone’s going to build this eventually. I hope they do. The alternative is another decade of propeller-mode confusion and nobody saying a word about it until it’s over.