My Queen, Unretouched

Kate Upton has had a rough stretch. An overambitious fashion designer grabbed her breasts to verify their authenticity, as if that were a normal professional transaction. The Family Guy team caricatured her as a fat sphere. On Instagram she absorbs abuse and rape fantasies from strangers with apparently limitless free time. All of it because her body doesn’t conform to measurements invented by people who’ve never been near an actual woman.

For the latest Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, some of the shoots were done without retouching—real forms placed deliberately against the fantasy. The predictable result: she’s an absolute wonder. She was before, she is after. Trolls, haters, and grabby designers change that by exactly nothing.

Whether the whole Photoshop debate actually means something or is just another argument manufactured by people who need a cause—I genuinely can’t decide. What I’m certain of: as long as she refuses to be ground down, she has in me a devoted admirer. Sometimes a slightly creepy one, always loyal. A nice guy, basically. I’m aware of how that sounds.