Toxins and Toys

Five out of eighteen sex toys tested by Stiftung Warentest failed because they’re loaded with actual poison. DEHP, which damages fertility. Phenol, which might cause genetic defects. Nickel, which triggers allergies. Polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons, which are possibly carcinogenic. The other thirteen mostly passed, which is something.

What struck me is that there are no regulations for this stuff. No standards at all. You can put almost anything in something made of silicone and sell it, and there’s nothing stopping you. Dr. Wagner-Leifhelm from the test said it plainly: these things have direct mucous membrane contact. Your body absorbs things through those tissues. It matters what’s touching you there.

I’ve bought cheap toys without thinking about it. You see one online with decent reviews, you order it. Nobody’s thinking I wonder if this is toxic. That’s not how you shop for these things. You don’t read the materials list. You don’t check a safety database. You just assume it’s probably fine, the way you assume everything else sold legally is probably fine. Until something like this test comes out and you realize nobody’s actually checking.

The advice at the end—wrap it in a condom if you’re paranoid—just underscores how broken the situation is. But what else are you going to do? You can’t tell which ones are safe. There’s no label. There’s no database. The only way to know is if someone happens to test it, and they test maybe five a year. So you’re either gambling, or you’re just not using anything at all.