The Gospel of Gold-Plated Peanut Butter

Nobody has committed to the bit of being obscenely, theatrically rich as long and as consistently as Snoop Dogg. This is a man who has made a career out of performing ease—a specific kind of ease that involves silk, weed, and the studied nonchalance of someone who has decided that the normal rules of effort simply don’t apply to him. He doesn’t hustle visibly. He glides. And when Swedish payments company Klarna approached him with the idea of a luxury product line called "Get Smoooth," the only surprise is that nobody thought of it sooner.

The range—released under the name Smoooth Dogg for the campaign—includes golden peanut butter, silk bedsheets, cashmere toilet paper, a silk bathrobe, and a seven-metre inflatable slide. None of it is necessary. All of it is exactly right. Golden peanut butter runs €15, which is the price of the fantasy more than the food. Cashmere toilet paper is €115, because of course it is. The inflatable slide costs €2,500, a price that assumes you have a garden large enough to accommodate it, which filters out most of humanity immediately.

Golden peanut butter and silk bedsheets? Perfect for true players, Snoop said, and you can hear the grin in it. He’s not pretending this is aspirational lifestyle content. He’s in on the absurdity, which is the only honest position to take when you’re selling cashmere toilet paper at three figures a roll.

What I appreciate about this, separate from the comedy of the objects themselves, is that it’s a perfect distillation of his public persona. He’s always operated in this register—luxury as performance, wealth as aesthetic rather than status anxiety. Not showing off so much as playing a character he’s been playing since Doggystyle and has never once broken in thirty years. That’s discipline disguised as decadence. In its own ridiculous way, that’s art.